"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." Proverbs 4:7 NIV
As a young child I was told in school about how the earth was created in six days. We learned this in kindergarten. I have never been able to believe the theory that creation took only a week. This seemed to conflict with my understanding of God and the order of the universe. God's time always seems to be longer than what mere mortal minds expect. It would seem more logical that creation would have taken place over millions of years so that everything would be just right. Being only five at the time my reasoning did not go any deeper than this.
When we reached Big Bang in my elementary science books, it was dismissed as a false theory. We simply needed to know that God created the universe so Big Bang could not have occurred. My young mind accepted this argument. I often wondered what it was like before time began. This was the first theory I was able to reject as I came of age and acquired scientific knowledge. Accepting Big Bang came naturally and did not imply that I did not believe to creation. It was simply deepening my understanding of how things came to be in a physical sense. As I learned about how matter came to be, I was furthered awed by the miracle of formation.
As I progressed in my early studies we encountered evolution and this is where the conflict truly began. We skipped over the entire section, including the ages of the earth. We were told that natural selection on a small scales was the only evolution that was possible. All adaptations were usually to the detriment of a species. We were taught how humankind walked with dinosaurs, (I quickly dismissed this thought.) I was taught to disregard carbon dating as a blatant lie. To believe in evolution was to believe in deception and to deny my faith. As I continued through the remainder of my primary and secondary education, evolution was never again mentioned, for fear of controversy. I entered into undergraduate academics with very little knowledge of theory and only with the notion that it had to be wrong.
As I aged my drive to acquire scientific knowledge increased and I reached a conundrum. Several theories that I believed to be accurate hinged on accepting some of the ideas behind evolution. I remember feeling a twinge in my stomach as I started wonder if all of evolution was the lie I had believed it to be. I cautiously started studying the field. I examined the evidence and the counter arguments. I realized there was good scientific basis for the theory that had nothing to do with a desire to upset those who believed in creation. Could it be that this conflict is only a political illusion?
Still I was careful in determining my opinion of the matter. I searched my soul. Could I be a scientist and a believer of spiritual truths? I examined my heart and the evidence. I could nothing to suggest that God would want me to be anything other than rational in learning about creation. So I swam deeper into ocean of knowledge and examined how life came to be over the ages. I looked at every careful step that made life possible as I know it today. It was serene and beautiful, cruel and harsh. It was then I was finally able to say without guilt. I believe that evolution might explain life and I believe that I am divinely created as is all life. The conflict need not exist.
I write this not to incur debate, but merely to express one of my own journeys. I will write more later and tragedy of the conflict between evolution and creation. In the mean time I encourage all to question every theory and to seek answers at all costs.
