Finding Solace in a Bike Ride

Last week I felt like I got into a fight with life and walked away with two black eyes and a bloody nose. I am struggling to be the scientist I want to be. My work feels so passionless and this is reflected in the results. I live with a daily reminder of the price and sacrifices my husband and I made so that I could have a career in physics. The burden seems almost too heavy to carry. I am so tired.

This is naturally reflected in my workout. My energy levels are not what they normally are and my muscles feel sore even after light workouts. I normally do my long rides on Saturday and my long runs on Sunday mornings. I woke Saturday morning in the pain that I have allowed stress to inflict on my body. I set my mind to ride. I need to work on my pace and I should do interval training, but I set these goals aside. Saturday, I needed my cycle to be more than training, I needed to be comforted. So I worked to get myself out of the house, which took longer than usual. I set no goals on distance, I had no plans for pace. My aim was to enjoy the feeling of pushing pedals and taking in the spring air. Piper, being the wonderful man that he is, told me to take as long as I needed. So I set off.

I live about 6.5 miles  away from a large park with roads that are mostly traffic free. I road the long way to get to the park and went through small towns I had never before seen. I could see the signs of spring in the various farms I passed. I arrived at Great Windsor park. I could see fields of yellow flowers and flocks of deer. Round and round the miles of park roads did I ride. It was comforting. It gave me solace. After I was calm, I road home through a different country side. The ride was a little more than 50 miles.

Once I entered my apartment, tired and sweaty, I pulled on my running shoes and dragged myself through a 2.7 mile run. I was able to run the first 1.5 miles fairly strong and this was an improvement from my last brick workout. (A brick workout is when an someone does one exercise work out immediately followed by a workout of a different type of exercise. Like a bike ride followed by a run. These are an essential part of multi-sport training.) Running after a bike ride feels like running in full armor through a field of molasses. So I will count my successes when they come.

Sunday came and I slept through the time I would normally run, but I woke up rested for the first time this week. Sometimes our bodies need more than just exercise. The more I do endurance events, the more learn about listening to what my body needs.

My research may continue to be a struggle, Piper may still be looking for work, my shoes may continue to break and be thrown out without replacement and the wears in my jeans may turn to holes. I have a husband who I am in love with, my bike can still take me to new places and I can still put one foot in front of another, and that is a win. Perhaps 90's grunge will continue to come back into fashion and I will look extra stylish. Next week, I will have more energy and I will train harder, but this week it was enough to remember that I still have so many opportunities to find joy.

Pre Bike Ride Looking a Little Tired
Photo By Piper Williams (500px.com/PiperWilliams)

Training Update:

I have been focusing on running hills and doing bricks. I am also working to run and bike at a faster pace consistently.

I am participating the London Ultra Duathlon to raise money for Scope, a charity that provides services for individuals with disabilities. If you would like to sponsor me please visit http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=EmilyGrace. Any amount helps and is appreciated.